New York City's 29th Annual April Fool's Day Parade

For three decades, New York City's Annual April Fools' Day Parade has offered the public an opportunity to express, in a comical way, its outrage against the foolishness of mankind. Thousands of participants in look-alike costumes with satirical floats creatively mock the thoughtless, corrupt and selfish acts of the past year. Kicking off at noon on Tuesday, April 1, the parade will march down 5th Avenue from 59th Street to Washington Square Park where revelers will party down. It will conclude with the annual crowning of the King of Fools. Spread the word!

The 29th Annual April Fools' Day Parade will begin at Fifth Avenue and 59th Street at 12 noon, Tuesday, April 1, 2014. Rain or shine, the parade will march down Fifth Avenue to Washington Square Park for the climactic selection of the King of Fools from the costumed marching look-alikes.

The theme for this year's parade is "Everybody Must Get Stoned." The parade blasts off with Bob Dylan's hit song by the same name sung by the U.S. Congress Marching Band. Grand Marshall Barack Obama marches toward the ever moving "red line." He will be joined by Toronto Mayor Rob Ford trying to march unassisted. Color commentary will be provided by Dennis Rodman.

Marching celebrity look-alikes will include the shirtless Russian President Vladimir Putin shouting anti-gay slurs; Carlos Danger, a.k.a. Anthony Weiner texting selfies; Fox News's Megyn Kelly shouting "Santa is white. So is Jesus. Just get over it!" while San Diego Mayor Bob Filner tries to cop a feel and a kiss. Also see weathercaster Al Roker pitching his new Depends line to a twerking Miley Cyrus; Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson quoting from his duck bible; celebrity chef Paula Deen with her mouth taped shut; and Geraldo Rivera and Arizona's Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio teaming up to find suspicious-looking people wearing hoodies or carrying backpacks. Bringing up the rear will be the 2013 King of Fools Ted Cruz shouting, "Shut it down, shut it down!".

As the parade enters Washington Square Park, the festivities will begin. Food concessions will include a salmonella-infected chicken tasting; 10 million pounds of McDonald's mighty wings; recalled Chobani GM yogurt; and lab-cloned hamburgers. All will have caffeine added to provide an energy boost to speed your way to the hospital. There will also be a Fukushima glow-in-the-dark sushi bar. Beyond food concessions, there will be an NSA Booth, manned by Dir. of National Intelligence James R. Clapper, where you can get free transcripts of your important phone calls and emails; a Get-your-Measles-Here booth courtesy of Televangelist Kenneth Copland; and a Target Customer Service booth where you can reclaim your identity. Come prepared with your Social Security and PIN numbers. The Obamacare Sign-up booth will be temporarily down.

This year's parade will be televised live by Fox News. London's recently extracted 15-ton Monster Blob sewage of congealed fat and baby wipes will be rolled down 5th Avenue to clean up after the parade, then ceremoniously set aflame.

The public is encouraged to participate, in or out of costume, with or without floats, and may join the procession at any point along the parade route. Floats can be no wider than 10' and no longer than 30'. They can be self-propelled, towed, pushed or pulled. Customized bicycles, tricycles, baby carriages and aerial balloons are welcome. All participants are costumed look-alikes, and the Parade Committee assumes no liability for damages caused by satire. Parade floats and marchers must be at 59th Street and Fifth Ave no later than 11:30 a.m..

The King of Fools will be chosen based on the loudest cheers at Washington Square Park. The winner will reign through March 31, 2015.